I N B O X

[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

[reznikolai]

[...Why is it that the pictures of Constantin's legs are the primary thing he's known for?]

I think you mean the Nikolai who SKILLFULLY and GENEROUSLY drove a bunch of furniture to your new place. But yes, this is he.

And I assume this must be Miss Nyskie, Constantin's housemate?

[gliblie]

[In this instance, it’s because Nyskie and Constantin had an entire conversation about those very same leg pics not long after they were taken, and that’s still one of the more recent things to come to mind when she thinks of him.]

you've heard of me! only good things, i'm sure

i have no complaints about the skillfulness of the driving venture. you delivered both my housemate and our belongings unharmed, which is all i could ask for

except now i do have something to ask from you, but first you need to swear that you won't tell anyone. not even connie. ESPECIALLY not connie

[reznikolai]

Oh, he sings your praises like a very complimentary bird.

It seems unwise of me to agree to secrecy when you've left absolutely no indication of what this is about. But I am far more curious than I am wise. So I swear to tell no one about whatever favor you're about to request.

[gliblie]

that's the spirit! wise men don't have any fun, anyway

i am putting together something for our mutual friend's birthday, which he did NOT tell me about ahead of time, and so does NOT get to complain about the lateness of this gift

but for my project i need pictures. i need every picture you can give me that either has him in it, or was taken in his presence

and if there are any juicy anecdotes that go with any of them, i need those too

[reznikolai]

He mentioned no such thing to me either. The scoundrel!

This will be quite the undertaking, as I have a substantial collection of photos featuring the one and only Constantin d'Orsay. Let's start with...

[A favorite of his, the selfie he took during the Great Inebriated Boat Heist. Nyskie might recognize it from the wallpaper on Constantin's phone. Nikolai grins up at the camera, and over his shoulder the birthday boy poses beside a rowboat in the surf.]

Of course, I can't remember most of what happened that night. We did wake up underneath the overturned boat on the beach the next day. So if the beginning and middle of the story were as amusing as the ending, it must have been a good one. 😄

[gliblie]

that one is definitely a winner!

[Personally, the idea of rowing out into the ocean in the middle of the night is enough to give her hives, but it does still sound like an adventure.]

the place you woke up, was it the same beach? as where you left from

[reznikolai]

I thought so too!

No, judging by the lack of docks, we must have succeeded in rowing our little boat some distance from wherever we acquired it. We never did discover where that was... Although, I did tip off the local police about a row boat we happened to FIND that MAY have been stolen.

[gliblie]

stolen is such a strong word! you just relocated it...

[They stole it.]

important question about your midnight voyage: did you name the boat

boring answers not allowed. tell me the boat's name

[reznikolai]

It longed for freedom! For a change of scenery!

If we named it, the name is lost to the sieve liquor makes of memory. I can christen it now though!

How about the Volkvolnich? The Friendship Eternal? The Constantinikolai?

[gliblie]

the constantinikolai?? i could finish casting a spell in the time it takes to say that

at least shorten it to constaniko

[reznikolai]

Oh, that rolls off the tongue much better. The Constaniko, then! Named for its incredibly handsome captain and first mate.

[gliblie]

you're welcome

who was the captain and who was the first mate? did you flip a coin for it, or come to a gentleman's agreement?

[reznikolai]

I was captain, recommended by my prior experience of course.

[gliblie]

of course

well, captain niko, you still have cargo i require!

cargo in the form of captivating images of my dear housemate

don't leave me in suspense!

[reznikolai]

But suspense is so very exciting!

Very well, here is another from the very same night.

[Here's Constantin, with a bag of ice balanced on his head for some reason.]

I'm not entirely sure what the thought process was. Perhaps he was warm? Perhaps he thought he might slowly turn into a cocktail?

[gliblie]

what an ice hat!

i mean

what a nice hat! ;3

[reznikolai]

Should you choose to caption each photo, that would make an excellent one.

[gliblie]

of course it goes without saying that i intend to add commentary

if you have direct quotes that you want to provide, you are welcome to mention them!

it will be more special i think if it's a little bit of a collaboration

[reznikolai]

Then I shall search my brain for pearls of wisdom delivered by the man himself. 🤔

Do you want any of the leg-centric photos? They're quite flattering.

[gliblie]

yes! obviously they must be included 🦵

send me the best ones of the bunch. connie showed them all to me already, but i don't have any of them on my phone

[reznikolai]

[More picture incoming! He selects two of the choicest thigh shots, as well as a shot of Constantin walking on the beach, blurry cryptid style. It's a terrible picture, but he's rather fond of it anyway.]

Now you too can cherish these forever.