I N B O X

[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

[reznikolai]

[A part of him does fear her — or rather, what she would become if she lost control. It's in the same way he fears the dark and the demon curled up in his heart, a fear tethered to helplessness. He despises not being able to do anything about it. He despises that all his efforts can be slashed apart by the monster's talons, that there might be some problems he cannot solve.

Nikolai sees Gwenhwyfar's expression go carefully blank. He knows what a mask looks like, as someone who has worn one for so long. This must be her way of managing the sharp cut of despair: refusing to allow herself to give in, forcing herself to keep reading this narrow and lonely path. Ultimately, the ache in his heart for her is greater than his fear of her. He forces a grin, something he is well practiced in.]

Then I will do my best to not disappoint you, Gwenhwyfar

[Her hands leave his, but he's left with the weight of her gifts. It seems she's ready to bring this meeting to an end, but he feels compelled to add:]

Matt offered to help me practice controlling the monster. If I can learn to maintain my mind while transformed, then the monster will be a threat no more.

[gwenhwyfar]

[ She reasoned with herself that the pain will eventually come with the territory. A queen cannot think of her own needs -- only that of others. She couldn't ask someone that swore no loyalty to her family or Arthur's crown to help her with something so dangerous that he wasn't prepared for. Nikolai isn't a knight, he doesn't deserve it.

And so, Gwenhwyfar would leave it to Nikolai, still wearing the blank expression, divorced herself from her body and mind while her heart plummeted to deepest pits of darkness. ]

Then do so. [ She thought it was fantastic, really, and refused to show it. Gwenhwyfar turns back with a gentle call to Cavall while she gathers everything up that she had with her. ]

Just make sure next time that I won't be carrying you out like an old mother.