reznikolai | I N B O X

[Yes, and manna earns a nice fast government stipend. But of course he won't pass up on this opportunity to tease her.]

If you wanted to hold my hand, you could have just said so.

[Paired with a disarming grin, it's a deadly combination. Nikolai places his hand over Konoha's open palm, curling his fingers around hers as if making a clasp. The leather of his gloves is buttery soft, but they rob his grip of the warmth of flesh. Nevertheless, the connection confers enough intimacy to generate manna. It comes as a faint hum against his edges.

By now, the server has returned with two glasses of water. She jots down each item that Nikolai reads off of the menu and bustles back into the restaurant.]

[He... really was a smooth talker, wasn't he? That was... actually, maybe that was for the best if this place ended up being more like Lunatia in more ways than one...

For now, though, she just automatically curls her fingers around his, impressed by how fine the leather was on his gloves, and lets him handle the server. Curiously, as if unmindful of how that might look, she rubs thumb gently along the edge of his hand. (She's just testing how soft the glove was, she swears.) It isn't until the server leaves with their order that she speaks up again, tapping at his gloves.]

I think if you take your gloves off we can make more manna faster. It works better skin to skin.

[Except, right, he's human and it's cold out, how insensitive...]

Oh, you won't have to worry about the cold as much... everyone says I'm warmer inside than human ladies.

[But maybe no one has told her that phrasing is questionable.]

[It's a good thing that after living much of his life like one long political campaign, Nikolai is so practiced in controlling his facial expressions. His skill allows him to maintain a look of polite interest even as her unfortunate phrasing makes his brain screech to a halt for a moment. Surely she didn't intend— She couldn't be implying— No, she must mean that her species possesses a naturally higher body temperature.

That leaves one more awkward situation to navigate, though. As reluctant as he is to remove his gloves, she makes an excellent point.]

You're right.

[He withdraws his hand for just a moment to pull the glove off by the fingertips. The hand beneath is marred by strange dark scars: thick ridges slashing his fingertips and thin veins of black cracking the back, vanishing into his coat sleeve. His expression turns to something more sober than the beguiling grins he has shown her so far, but his tone remains carefully light:]

Old battle scars, nothing to worry about.

[Words meant to tamp down any reaction the odd sight might trigger. He's already reaching for her hand again, seeking the heat she has promised.]

[It may be very apparent in that moment why no one has told Konoha that this way of phrasing might be in need of revision. Surely no one wanted to embarrass a nice young woman like that... even if. She did actually learn that information from her first human lover.]

Mm! I guess it makes sense, if the manna stuff is all about "connections"...

[Not that needing to do it made sense, but. She seems pleased enough that he's willing to go along with her suggestion- though her smile does falter noticeably when he pulls his glove off to reveal... oh.

His explanation could be suspect, those didn't look like the normal sorts of scars she was used to, but... when it was already clear that the worlds they came from were so different, that his had magic and technology (and boats) the likes that hers didn't... It must be some sort of... magic scar? Poisoned scars? Either way, it looked like it had been painful...]

Oh...

[So she gentles her touch (just in case), curls her fingers back around his hand, and then lays her other atop of it (just in case he was self-conscious, and that had more to do with the gloves than the cold). It seems she hadn't been lying, at least... the naturally higher body temperatures jinba ran, more equine than human in that respect, meant that her body offers a slightly more comforting heat.]

Is this alright... ?

[It's easy enough to act like the scars don't bother him. He already spends so much of his time hiding behind one mask or another. What he cannot tolerate is pity. Weak things deserve pity. Fragile, helpless things deserve pity. A king cannot afford to be any of those things.

So he smiles at Konoha.]

They don't hurt anymore. It's all right.

[Each time the monster awakens, the scars sting and his skin is torn anew. But at present, all he feels is the warmth of Konoha's hands and the subtle thrum of manna. He appreciates the cover she provides, though in the back his mind he wonders if she simply prefers not to look at the rather unpleasant sight of his hand.

All too ready to turn the conversation in a different direction, Nikolai starts up:]

You mentioned your family before. Will you tell me about them?

[He asks as a way to reassure her that, no matter the wild adventures he's experienced, her life is not boring to him. Everyone likes to feel that their stories matter.]

[Well that’s good to hear. Normally with scars she wouldn’t think they would, but his just looked so peculiar and angry in a way that she wasn’t sure meant they were fresh or not that she did half wonder if they still ached.

So she smiles, her thumb absently rubbing up and down on the top of his hand, the synchrony blossoming between them where they touched. A peculiar sensation, but... not so peculiar to her, after where she’d been taken last.

But he asks about her family, and though she looks pleased to be able to speak of them... there’s no hiding the sorrow of having to speak of them this way- as distant, untouchable figures that weren’t even on the same world anymore, no matter how many times the sun came up and she instinctively rolled over looking for her husband’s warmth or automatically reached for a child to nurse.]

Well... for a long time it was just my parents and I. They’re much older- ah, adopted parents, they’re human. But they’re wonderful, they treated me just like a real daughter.

[And if she regretted anything about her new life, it was having to leave them behind, even if they had insisted she should. Her expression grows a bit hazy, her smile quivers.]

And I finally [finally, she says] got married... to a man who worked under me at the lumber yard. He’d come to the human villages to escort his nephew, who wanted to see what humans were like... and when he went back to the deep mountains I went with him to join his herd there.

[It hasn’t been an easy life, but she knew that coming in, and how could she regret it when-]

Our daughter Komatsu was born just this spring... I promised Gonta we could name the firstborn after his father, Matsukaze. A great man.

[Both of them were. And she can’t help the way her grip on his hands tightens just a bit, holding tight to him when... admittedly, she’s desperate to hold someone else.]

[Family is a tricky thing to ask about. Intertwined with the warm memories is the chilling reminder that those same loved ones are worlds away. When Konoha's hand curls tighter around his, he senses that it's someone else's hand she holds in her heart.

For Nikolai's part, it's pleasant to hear about a thoroughly uncomplicated family. A loving family. He hasn't seen his parents in over three years, not since he pressured his father to abdicate and then exiled the former King and Queen to the Southern Colonies. His brother is dead. He has a whole shadow family he has never met somewhere in Fjerda, his biological father and the legitimate children he produced when he was done with Nikolai's mother. And now there's a crop of his father's bastards and distant Lantsov cousins all claiming to be the legitimate heir to Ravka's throne.

Those aren't very nice stories to tell over lunch.]

You're a mother!

[The way he says it, it sounds like an impressive feat. Admittedly, the question of an heir has weighed heavily on his mind lately. He takes on a sympathetic look.]

I hope that you can see your daughter and husband sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I'm sure Gonta will entertain Komatsu with plenty of stories of her kind and hardworking mother.

[With his free hand, he takes one of the water glasses the server had deposited and sips from it.]

You know, lately I've been thinking about settling down myself.

[His casual tone belies just how complicated a proposition it is. A veritable political minefield. And he's the mine.]

Mmm... a few months now.

[It’s nice, the words he says, and it’s almost confusing how Konoha finds herself feeling flattered by them even while knowing that realistically they are a bit empty. He can’t say for sure that she is a good and kind and hardworking mother, he doesn’t know that Gonta is the type to tell his daughter stories... but. If it’s sentiment... she’ll appreciate it.

She almost tells him, though... that she hopes he doesn’t. She’s sure, she’s convinced herself to be sure, that time has stopped in that world. Like how when she returned home from Lunatia and no one had noticed she’d been gone at all. It had to be like that, because otherwise... what if her sister-in-law couldn’t nurse her daughter? What if something happened to Komatsu? To her husband? What if she grew up warm and safe and loved but without any memory of the mother who had wanted her more than anything?]

You are?

[Despite her intent to be strong, she has to pull one hand from his to wipe at her eyes, quickly smear the hints of tears away. Maybe it’s better to think of someone else’s family-]

Is there someone you fancy... ? I suppose it might be hard for a sea captain to find a good woman...

[She’d have to be patient, wouldn’t she? And brave, to let her husband head out to sea not knowing if he’d come back...]

[He thinks of Zoya, her dark hair and brown skin haloed in the light of the fire. Of Alina clutching his hand the night he showed her his scars. Just as quickly as Konoha's question summons those familiar faces, he dismisses them. He has let go of his feelings for Alina, and Zoya — Zoya is too much steel, too much diamond, to ever allow something like love to soften her.

He sets down his glass, dips his head to arrange a sheepish appearance.]

Not at the moment. That is precisely the trouble.

[Nikolai supposes he can give her more than that. He saw her brushing away her fledgling tears, so he allows her to steer the conversation full tilt in the direction he suggested. Most women are fond of the topic of love matches and lonely bachelors.]

I did propose to a girl some years ago, but she preferred another man.

[Preferred him enough to turn down a large emerald ring and a place on the throne. Admittedly, that still stings. To know that there was nothing he could offer Alina to make her want him.]

[Some could argue it was a bit rude to consider that topic one that most women enjoyed... but Konoha was not one of those people. Of course women enjoyed that sort of talk, and if a man needed to consult with someone about it, she could surely provide a sympathetic ear? Besides, he might be a sea captain, that was daring and brave, but she would be his senior in this arena, so... It allows her to feel just a bit in control of something. Just a bit.]

Oh, I'm sorry... I know it takes a lot of nerve to ask. It took me months to ask my husband to make me his wife...

[Months! She does sound genuinely sympathetic, though, who wouldn't be? The idea of confessing your feelings and proposing only to be rejected for another was tragic. And it had been years since? Had he been heartbroken that whole time... ? Desperate for the distraction, her imagination is ready to run amok.]

What kind of wife are you looking for... ?

[On the contrary, it had taken Nikolai no time at all to propose, and he had hardly needed to work up the nerve. He already had plenty of it. No sooner had he revealed his true identity to Alina than he was floating the idea of the Sun Summoner becoming his queen. Then what started as a clever political maneuver gradually turned to genuine feelings — but only on his side. He took for granted that she would say yes to a prince. She was, as always, full of surprises.

Nevertheless, he accepts Konoha's condolences with a soft squeeze of her hand.]

Worry not, I have no shortage of nerve. As for my ideal wife...well, she must be intelligent, beautiful, and gifted in witty repartee, of course.

[Then his expression turns from glib to thoughtful. His gaze turns aside.]

I would want us to be equal partners. Quite simply, I want someone who knows my mind and heart and decides I am worthy of being loved.

[Regardless, he adds privately.]

[Intelligent, beautiful, and good at talking? That is... such a tall order. Konoha's eyebrows raise a bit, mouthing a little "oh" as if thinking of how to break it to him that those were really high standards. He really did have nerve... Except then he says that, and... Hmmm. Her gaze turns thoughtful as if to mirror his, not necessarily having expected such a deep answer.]

That's really poetic...

[He was handsome, so he had that going for him to attract a wife, and he was a good talker, too, but hmmm... was a sea captain a high standing position? In her own world, not so much, but... She much prefers the idea of marrying for love herself, and if that's what he wanted too...]

I was going to ask if you had a good prospects for betrothal gifts, but maybe you can just charm a really fancy lady like that by talking about love instead... I haven't heard many men talk like that, I think you could really impress a woman if you were honest...

[Honesty was the best policy, after all!]

[Nikolai enjoys it perhaps a little too much, briefly pretending that his only obstacle to marriage is that he hasn't found the right girl yet. It's certainly preferable to the reality of it. That he has a secret, a literal inner demon, that would send any woman with two wits to rub together running in the opposite direction. That he cannot wait for love, because time is running out. That marriage can only be a political game for him, and he has no choice but to play.

His eyes are back on Konoha.]

You think so?

[He looks as though the idea has never occurred to him. Of course, his potential bride's dowry was yet another factor in Zoya's calculations as she gathered her list of candidates. It was the reason she kept pushing him toward Hiram Schenck's oh-so-eligible daughters. Having a father-in-law on Kerch's Merchant Council would be a huge boon to a debt-laden king.]

Do you think I might impress a wealthy merchant's daughter? [A grin, as if enjoying a private joke.] A duke's daughter? A princess?

Of course I think so.

[Konoha answers with the surety of a woman who saw very little merit or need to say something she didn't honestly believe. Well, of course there were times when one should be more diplomatic, especially with samurai or nobility in her social caste driven culture, but. They're just two people here, so why say something that she didn't think was true?

(Hah).]

I don't know about a lady that high class, since they have all sorts of rules to follow whether they're in love or not, but I think you could definitely marry a merchant's daughter!

[As much as she loved a good love story... She was a realist as well, and as charming as he was she couldn't imagine a duke or an emperor allowing their daughter to marry a ship's captain, no matter how dashing and gentlemanly he was... (An affair, well, maybe, depending on how discrete they were? But this is marriage talk!)]

And then you could go into business with her father and you'd probably make even more money!

[Love and business success!]

[Indeed, he knows all too well the rules that bind those with titles to bear. The higher the status, the tighter the expectations. But there is little point in worrying about that here. In a way, he's been granted a reprieve from the ticking time bomb of his search for a bride.

He smiles brightly at Konoha.]

An excellent proposition, Miss Konoha. Should I need advice in matters of love in the future, I'm certain I can rely on your wisdom and experience.

[He doesn't intend to fall in love here. It is only a temporary stay. Someday — he is determined — he must return to Ravka, his first love, his truest love, and whomever he meets here he cannot take with him.]

[Excellent, he says, and Konoha beams a little bit, glad to be told her idea held merit when she had become... admittedly somewhat used to her way of thinking not being as applicable in other worlds and these sorts of strange, energy-generating touch lands. She didn't have the education nor the imagination to conjure up ways to somehow manipulate time and space and magic to get them all back to their proper worlds, but.]

If it's love advice... you can leave it to me!

[... and, as she would soon prove, he could also leave the consumption of quesadillas, fajitas, burritos, and fish tacos to her as well, possessed of two stomachs in need of feeding to fuel a body over half a ton in weight.

At the very least, their hand holding at least produced enough manna to offset the bill...]

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