reznikolai | I N B O X

[Ponchik shows his appreciation by shoving his big fluffy head into Jesper's hand. He takes after Nikolai in that he will never turn down a bit of attention.]

I see I'm old news.

[This is directed at the dog, naturally. Then he casts an assessing eye on Jesper:]

Do you have an interest in engineering?

[He's happy, of course, to explain his design and the physics behind it. Most days his only audience is Ponchik, and while the dog maintains an expression of enthusiasm throughout the experience leaves something to be desired. But first, this question feels pertinent.]

Uhh, well... [He shrugs a little.] Maybe? I'm kind of in the figuring things out stage, I guess. I mean–

[He shifts anxiously on his feet and folds his arms across his chest. He still gets cagey talking about it, even here, even in a place where everyone's a little more on the level, having powers and things being generally more open. But... there's a safety in the people from home that is easier to push beyond the hesitation with.

And Matt.
He'd felt nearly instantly comfortable with him, which was still something that confused him, honestly.]

I'm... [He shifts again, and one hand wanders to the safety-net of the pistol at his hip. No intent to use it. Just. There. A grounding touch. He clasps his hands together, index fingers steepled and briefly touching his mouth before they drop away from his face and spreads his hands as if on display.]

I'm a Durast.

[Which Nikolai may or may not already know, Jepser knows there's strange time things that happen and he has never gotten the clearest picture of that from anyone, honestly. But the choice in saying it out loud is a thing. A big deal, despite everything else that says this is fine. Safe in this world. In this room.

It's a pressure released from his chest that he hadn't known existed until it was gone, like a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.] Engineering seems like... a good jumping point in figuring out what the fuck that even really means.

[Practicing more. It was something he was working toward, slowly but surely.]

[As Jesper shifts and fidgets, Nikolai can sense the anxiety crackling in him as if it's electricity and he's flipped the switch. He knows at once that there's more to it than an interest in the mechanics of how things work. Thanks to all his practice in schooling his features, his surprise doesn't show on the surface when Jesper stumbles into his confession — but he does arrange a contemplative look to show that he's listening.

He wonders how many people he's told. It feels like a new thing, tottering forth on unsteady legs. He wonders how long Jesper has known, or if he, like Alina, suppressed his power for fear of how it would irrevocably change his life.]

You're right about that. [Nodding graciously.] My workshop, humble though it may be, offers plenty of opportunities for you to experiment with your power.

And though I may be otkazat'sya, I've spent years working closely with a Durast. David Kostyk, one of the most brilliant minds I've ever had the good fortune of knowing. [And a name that should be familiar enough to anyone with even a dim awareness of foreign politics.] So I've some inkling the potential you've got in your hands.

[He gives Jesper an encouraging grin. His eyes are clever, twinkling with a thousand ambitious possibilities, but they're trustworthy.]

You worked with David Kostyk? [His eyes light up at that.]

Do you think… could you help me? I don’t care that you’re otkazat'sya, I just want to learn more about this part of who I am.

[This part of him he has had to deny for so long in fear. Of what he is. Of being discovered. Fear handed down to him from his father.]

[Really, it should be said that David works with him, but the semantics are not important. What's important is that Jesper is suitably impressed — moreover, he's willing to let Nikolai help him explore that part of himself. The nod he gives in answer works for both questions.]

What do you say we work out a schedule for you to come over and use my workshop? You get to hone your Grisha abilities, and I get an extra pair of hands helping me out.

[Everybody wins!]

That sounds amazing. [He says through a half-laugh.] Yes! I'd love that.

[There's an almost giddiness to it. An almost child-like excitement in the idea of this endeavour, because some part of him thought it would never be possible.]

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