I N B O X

[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

[lumberlady]

[honestly, for the best, she probably does not have the capacity to see a picture of the both of them together right now... it's too powerful and also confusing... it's bad enough her lovers even know each other, but most of them are friends!? sometimes "friends"?! this is too much- !]

CARDAN is
talk and dark
no mystery
2/3
good tryyyyyyyyyyyyy
NIKOLAI

if CARDAN shows there
please tell him
i am so so mad!
for leaving i at this place alone!!!

[reznikolai]

I'll tell him precisely how mad you are.

You don't find him the least bit mysterious?

[lumberlady]

i know CARDAN much much long time
more than i know NIKOLAI
or any other person here i think

keeping secrets yes
mystery?
not so much

[reznikolai]

I didn't know you went so far back.

[Which presents a conundrum of math, given that Nikolai met Konoha so shortly after they arrived here...]

Does keeping secrets not lend an air of mystery?

1/2

[lumberlady]

yes!!
from world before here
LUNATIA
CARDAN and i meet there
much sexual world like here
but different?
but same…
then come here but CARDAN also here and he remembers i!
not forgotten!
so happy

[but now she has to try and explain the difference between these words while drunk??? hard mode…]

maybe?
but for i
mystery is i do not know why they do thing
secret is just information they hide
NIKOLAI and CARDAN both keep secret from i
but NIKOLAI is more mystery than CARDAN…

[lumberlady]

let us fix!!!

[reznikolai]

Then I'm glad you could cross paths again. It was a relief to find a familiar face, wasn't it?

[His mind, of course, spins with the confirmation of another world much like this one and yet not. That seems like a topic to delve into further when Konoha is sober, however...]

What would you like to know? I'd say I'm an open book, but that has never been true. I can try turning a few pages for you, though.

1/2

[lumberlady]

yes
i cry on CARDAN so much!!!
and then he embarrassed a little
because i spill on him
sorry!

[lumberlady]

[except wait, now? now is her chance? she’s too tipsy (drunk) for this!]

why
why is NIKOLAI so wanting to be good king?

[not just a king. a good king.]

[reznikolai]

I've always enjoyed fixing things. And Ravka has been broken for a long time.

[As a brief explanation, without becoming too entrenched in the depths of Ravkan history and politics:]

Too many of my predecessors cared more about satisfying their own desires than fulfilling the people's needs.

[lumberlady]

[see, that sounds really nice… except Nikolai’s drive has always seemed far stronger than that, far more personal than that.

and while she’s drunk enough and he’s still being annoyingly vague…]

which one?

[reznikolai]

[Ah. She remembers how loose his tongue had gotten the night of Liem's party.]

You must understand it brings me no pleasure to impugn my father. But he was a weak man, and a weaker king. And my brother was set to follow in his venal, callous footsteps. That's what hardened my resolve to find a path to the throne myself.

While I'm being an open book, my father isn't really my father at all. I don't share one drop of his blood.

[lumberlady]

[she doesn’t remember everything from that night… but sadly she remembers every mistake she made… hopefully. (she hasn’t gotten that drunk again… until… now… but she promised Cardan!)]

i am reading book
respectfully
even drinking
i promise

[somewhere in an underground Sapphire club, a dryad smacks her cheeks to try and sober up, checks her message a few times…]

NIKOLAI is born then of mother’s lie
but
is lie born of hate for king?
or love of not king?

[reznikolai]

[He knows. Even without her having to promise anything.]

I don't know. Other than his name, my mother never told me anything about my actual father.

But I hope that he loved her, and she loved him. I hope there was something more between them than regrets.

[lumberlady]

[this reply takes longer, spelling drunkenly double checked until-]

you never ask and she never tell?
or you ask and she tell only this?

i understand desire to believe
for hope
is important.

in exchange, i tell NIKOLAI page from i
okay?

real mother is armless
escaped broodmare from lord’s stable
i do not know name
or why how escaped
or anything
but was armless
so always i hope
maybe real father helps her
maybe they loved
or loved i

i think NIKOLAI should hope.

[reznikolai]

Rumors that I'm not my father's son have followed me my whole life, but my mother never confirmed it until a few years ago. I guess I never asked because I didn't want it to be true. And when she finally told me, there was little time for further questions.

[Being that...he'd just forced his not-really-father to abdicate and announced that he would exile both him and his mother to the Southern Colonies.]

I'm sure he did help her. Your real mother. It's a lovely thought, isn't it?

[lumberlady]

you does not look like?

[or, hmm, maybe his mother was just very indiscreet, but…]

thought is lovely yes
covers ugly
not like lie but
softness for self.
if is something we may never know
this is allowed.
okay?

[reznikolai]

No. But it could be excused with the assumption that I take after my mother. The timing was suspect, however, and gossip is a favorite pastime for servants.

It may be for the better that I'm a bastard. The results of so many generations of inbreeding are rather unfortunate. If you saw my brother, you'd agree.

[Ha.]

We could use a little softness. Where I'd be without hope, I don't know.

[lumberlady]

i see.

[and thinking of what he'd said, in that drunken, less fun moment during that more fun game...]

i think
better that NIKOLAI's blood has none of that king
must be the blood of a better man in his body.
i am sure.

[positive.]

no one would be any where with no hope.
not home.
not here.

[reznikolai]

That's a good hope too.

Your birth parents must have been good people. Brave and strong, doing everything they could to give you a better life than the one they got.

1/2

[lumberlady]

both we have good hopes.

yes
i want to believe so i will believe
i know
at least mother had to love i
she was armless
but still she takes i
even though escape and survival had to be more hard with
now i am mother
i cannot
i cannot imagine how to care for baby like this
she was strong.

[lumberlady]

see NIKOLAI?
feels good yes?

less mystery!
now
NIKOLAI is closer to CARDAN’s level

[reznikolai]

[It does feel good to expose those wounded inner places to the air, to place them in hands he knows to be gentle. And it feels good to know these hidden things about Konoha, despite the heaviness underneath those hopes. It feels good to be trusted with them in kind.]

You were right.

But how do you know that wasn't all just a clever ruse to distract you from your search for Cardan? 😏

1/2

[lumberlady]

oh yes
i am much dumb
but also
very much smart right!!

[lumberlady]

[but oh no what if her dumb parts meant he HAD tricked her…]

gasp
NIKOLAI such mischief??

i was going to send NIKOLAI special picture
because NIKOLAI sends i picture
and also revenge on CARDAN!!
but i cannot send to bad boy…