reznikolai | I N B O X

Your knight in shining armor will be there as fast as his noble steed can carry him. 😘

ok i'll be waiting

🥲

[ And wait Matt does, pacing between his kitchen and living room. Once, he even goes to the third floor to check on the plants. (They're all doing better than he is.) Matt's wrapped in a soft, moss-green bathrobe that aims to disguise the new, trickling growths on his chest from everyone, including himself, but he can't ignore the way they tingle. It feels like his chest's just fallen asleep and woken up, the nerves needling him for relief.

When Nikolai knocks, Matt pounces to answer the door. He's smiling, relieved, but he's noticeably a bit wild in the eyes. ]

Hey! Come in, come in.

[Nikolai had been in the middle of tinkering with one of his various projects when Matt messaged him, and as proof that he did in fact hurry here, he hasn't changed out of the grease-smudged corduroys that belong to the fraction of his closet reserved for his workshop. Vanity is a small sacrifice to make when a friend is in dire straits.]

I've come to rescue you, Motya.

[This is the theatrical declaration he makes as he sweeps across the threshold. Once inside, his hands find Matt's waist and his lips find his for a soft, sweet kiss. His voice sheds the playfully courtly affect to ask:]

How are you?

[The urgent character of Matt's messages and the wild edge to his eyes provide a clear enough answer of not well, but Nikolai wants to provide him a chance to air whatever feelings he's sat with all afternoon.]

[ Joke's on Nikolai, he's as ruinously handsome in stained cords as when he's wearing one of his beautiful shirts. Or at least that's Matt's view. He happily accepts the kiss, but he doesn't sway into it like he normally would; there's a sense of hanging back, of being reluctant to bring their chests into contact. ]

I'm, um ...

[ A great question, to be honest.

He's freaking out, for one thing. But nothing with Matt can ever be just the thing when his brain moves so fast and so far, so there are a few more layers in there, like: Is he freaking out because of misogyny? Is he transphobic? Oh no is he transphobic? In the end, Matt can't think of a better way to describe his mental state than to just let the robe fall open, exposing a pair of ...

Well. Breasts.

They'd probably be a bit smaller, but at present, they're swollen and full, a bead of creamy liquid at the tip of each nipple. ]

[What pops out is not a direct answer to his question, but...a pair of tits. Transformation is a routine part of their lives now, every month bringing about the sprouting of wings or fins or extra limbs. Hell, Nikolai's body houses a demon that he can call to the surface at will, twisting himself into its shadowed shape. Nevertheless, it's strange to see the fullness of breasts paired with Matt's narrow hips and sharp jaw.

And nevertheless, his body is still beautiful. It's still him.

Nikolai restrains the oh that so desperately wants to slip from his parted lips. With the practice that comes from years spent at court, he quickly corrects his surprised countenance into something more reassuring.]

It's a terrible inconvenience when your body decides it would rather be a stranger all of a sudden.

[Who understands better than him? Pulling off his gloves — winter's chill hasn't fled yet — he tucks them into his coat pocket. This he shrugs off, hanging it up. With his outerwear all shed, his hands are free to take Matt's, gently uncurling them from the hems of the open robe.]

Do you want to lie down...?

[ Oh, no. Nikolai's being so nice. So sweet and understanding, in a way that instantly unravels all Matt's brittle not-freaking-out defenses like water sloshed on sugar. When Nikolai takes his hands, Matt nearly buckles; he can feel, of all things, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. ]

Fuck, sorry, [ he says, pulling a face of wry self-deprecation. ] I'm okay, everything's fine, I just ...

[ "When your body decides it would rather be a stranger" is right. Matt's always been ambivalent about the sapphire's changes; he knows his body so intimately that he keenly feels each difference, like the absence of a familiar stair.

His body has been his astrolabe for a decade now, guiding him through a vast and scintillating cosmos. When it changes, he doesn't entirely know where he is. ]

Lying down would be good, [ he decides. His fingers knit around Nikolai's. ] Do you wanna come upstairs ...?

[Pulling their clasped hands toward him, he bows his head — a half nod — to press his lips to Matt's knuckles. To soothe him, he hopes.]

Let's go upstairs.

[Nikolai will lead the way. Although it's not his house, he's been a guest often enough that the landscape is familiar to him — although it's not his house, he feels at home with Matt's hand in his. Glancing back at Matt, he can't help how his eyes fall on the swell of his breasts, but he tries not to linger there too long. A sense of shame prods at him, a prickling awareness of Matt's discomfort that rubs against his own curiosity.

As soon as they're sealed away in the bedroom, Nikolai draws Matt into another kiss. The kind of kiss one might slip into like the ocean and let it carry him away. With hands on his hips, gently swaying, he guides him toward the bed.]

[ It's a kiss Matt meets willingly, sighing in relief, as he lets Nikolai nudge him back and back--lets Nikolai's hands on his hips tell his legs when to move, and how far. The backs of his knees bump the bed, and Matt pauses. One hand slides up Nikolai's arm to hold him close.

He'd really like to let this kiss carry him off. To sink into it so deeply he forgets how strange he feels. But while Matt can't abandon himself to Nikolai's lips entirely, he does gradually relax against him, until at last their chests meet. Matt's nipples press against Nikolai through his robe, the fabric slightly damp where beads of milk leak out. Matt groans into Nikolai's mouth--part ache, part want, and despite himself, part curiosity. ]

Mmm, [ Matt breathes against his lips, when the kiss breaks. ] I want you.

[ Probably not a surprise to Nikolai, since he usually does. But Matt likes saying it. ]

[And Nikolai likes hearing it. The novelty of being wanted — not in spite of everything, but because of everything — never wears off. No matter how many times Matt gives affirmation, it always comes as the first renewing breath of spring after the winter. Against his lips he murmurs:]

I want you all the time, Motya.

[Regardless of how the strange makings of this world may alter his body, his heart remains unchanged. As if intending to prove it, Nikolai kisses a trail along Matt's jaw and down the slope of his neck. As his lips stray lower, his hands rise up to gently push the robe from Matt's shoulders. He cradles each breast, caresses his wettened nipples, a promise for the relief to come. Then in the interest of fairness, he pulls off his own shirt. Bends to unlace his boots, sheds his trousers.

Regretting that he had to leave Matt untended for so long — a whole minute! — Nikolai relieves him with another insistent kiss. He takes his hand to keep them tethered together while he arranges himself on the bed, propped up on his side. The snug fit of his underwear betrays the beginnings of his arousal. He tugs on Matt's hand.]

Come lie down with me. I'll take care of you.

Oh, [ Matt breathes, startled, ] God.

[ That's for the way Nikolai cups the breasts--his breasts, he guesses, though they feel like Noctium's doing more than anything. Sapphire's breasts? The swipe of Nikolai's fingers across Matt's nipples. It's like a mirror of things Matt's felt himself, when he's caressed a partner's breast with tenderness, with reverent care. But even though Matt has vivid sense memories of how it feels to touch soft flesh, to hold someone in these intimate places (to hear a gasp, a sigh, rising in time with his caresses), a feeling like this is vanishingly rare. The immediacy of his own body sparking with want.

For a moment, he's nearly dazed. He watches Nikolai undress with hazy affection, moving quickly once he prompts him. ]

Yeah. Of course.

[ Matt wasn't wearing anything but the robe to begin with, so he's unclad and unencumbered as he settles down alongside him. Matt smiles faintly as his fingertips trail over Nikolai's cock through his underwear. ]

I'll take care of you too. [ A quick grin--here and gone, but real. ] Or, you know, watch you take care of yourself.

[The groan of the bed welcoming Matt's weight sounds to Nikolai like a sigh of relief. It's a steady light glowing inside his chest, the knowledge that Matt is comfortable enough to bare himself despite the insecurities his new appearance invites, that Matt entrusts his vulnerabilities to his hands. He hums against his shoulder, melting into his touch, splashing his skin with kisses.]

Mm...let's take care of each other.

[Ducking his head, drifting lower to spill kisses across Matt's chest, he divides his attention between his breasts and the more familiar parts of his body. (The breasts? Should he not think of them as Matt's, in the way he used to think of his wings and claws as the monster's, not his own?) His touch drips over Matt's stomach, fingers combing the trail of dark curls that leads to his cock.

Intending to surround him utterly, his other arm curls behind Matt's waist to flutter his fingers up his ribs, over the slope of a breast. Amid all these feather-light sensations, he flicks his tongue across a milk-sticky nipple to test his reaction.]

[ Matt's definitely feeling insecure about these changes. But if there's one thing that does feel like it belongs to him, it's sensation. And gloriously, undeniably, as soon as Nikolai puts his mouth to Matt's nipple, he feels-- ]

God, [ he says again. This time, it's mostly a gasp.

Matt's head falls back abruptly. His hands move; one slides up Nikolai's back and into his hair, while the other palms more firmly at his cock. Nikolai's tongue flicks against Matt's nipple, and instantly, milk splashes to greet him--as if the sweetness in Matt's body was waiting for his barest touch to loose itself.

Matt shifts against Nikolai, his spine curling to push his chest towards his mouth. At the same time, his hips roll, shifting to rub at Nikolai's hand. ]

Ohh ... that feels good. [ Admitting as much feels vulnerable, submissive almost, but this time not in a bad way. Matt mewls under Nikolai's mouth, his cock starting to stiffen. ] Don't stop.

Edited 2022-04-03 05:04 (UTC)

[How could he deny such sweet entreaties? Nikolai answers Matt's arching back and quivering whimpers by latching his mouth onto his nipple and suckling in earnest. Each pulse of his tongue and pucker of his lips is purposeful, confident in a way that belongs to Nikolai. An indulgent sigh simmers in his throat for each spurt of milk he coaxes out. Perhaps the juxtaposition should be strange, soft breasts and warm milk on his tongue and a cock stiffening in his grip, but Nikolai has always loved novelty. As far as he's concerned, he's been given a new way to love this body and heart that have become a refuge for him.

Pausing in his drinking, he swipes up the milk wetting his lips with his quick tongue. His laugh is sheepish as he continues cupping Matt's breast, slowly stroking his erection.]

I don't know why it turns me on so much... [Lapping at his partner's tits like a pup, that is. Guzzling the milk like he needs it to live.] But all Saints, you're gorgeous, Matt.

[He crowns this half-moaned declaration with a wet kiss to his nipple, before turning his attention to the other breast. With care bordering on reverence he laps up the beads of milk jeweling Matt's skin like tiny pearls, before capturing the puckered bud in his mouth to drink of it.]

[ Matt's relief as Nikolai suckles at his nipples is so intense, he can't name it in his mind. It feels like he's been edged for hours and is only now being touched, the discomfort and pricks of pain transmuting into pleasure just as sharp.

This might not be exactly the right time to contemplate the psychological underpinnings of one's kinks. And yet, when Matt's mouth opens next, the moan shapes to: ]

Well I think it's, it can be-- [ Parental issues floats through his brain, but luckily for them both, a kismet combination of Nikolai's hand and his mouth jolts all thoughts out of his head. Matt sighs heavily, his hips shifting against Nikolai's fingers. ] It's so primal. Feeding someone. Drinking of them ...

[ Matt's never made the connection before between vampires drinking from him and ... this specific act. But now that he has, it actually seems like there might be something to it. He tugs at Nikolai's waistband, trying to get his underwear off; Matt doesn't know what he wants to happen next, except that he wants it to involve bare skin. ]

[The self-deprecating joke that teetered on the precipice of his mind — before you ask, no, my mother never gave me enough attention as a boy — drifts away on the same eddying current of pleasure that surges through both of them. The ebb and flow of manna that pulses between them as Nikolai drinks of Matt.]

Mm... It's like you're surrounding me. [He nudges Matt's nipple with his tongue, panting hotly against the rosy bud.] Filling me. [He kisses it, open-mouthed and sweltering. Suckles at it again before the bead of milk gathering at the tip dribbles down.] You're everywhere.

[Shifting to lift his hips for Matt, so that he can slide his underwear down, Nikolai takes the opportunity for a detour. He ducks to spread his lips over the flushed head of Matt's cock. Milk and precum meet on his tongue as he swirls it in a methodical circle. When he lifts his head, his fingers glide up Matt's shaft to take over his mouth's task of teasing him. He returns to his breasts, kissing each in turn.]

I like that. I feel...loved.

I N B O X

warning: deviants at work

deviant text > deviant action

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