I N B O X

[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

✉ ☏ 📷

Comments

[lumberlady]

i do not keep secret
but there are some things i do not speak of
if there is no need.

i have seen things
heard things
that i think would make even NIKOLAI sick in the heart
i am grateful muchly
for being protected
but not if the cost is secret

NIKOLAI turning into shrieking shadow
this is easy fear
simple fear
i was afraid

but if NIKOLAI says so
i will believe is safe.

[reznikolai]

It was myself I was trying to protect. I was afraid of losing you if you knew the truth. I've gotten so used to guarding my secrets at all costs that I don't always know how to take down the walls I've built.

But I do trust you, Konoha. I'm grateful that you trust me too. And that you would still be my friend.

[For some levity he adds:]

Is shrieking shadow my new nickname? That's not half as cute as the one I gave you.

[lumberlady]

then i am sorry
that i ever let NIKOLAI think i would turn away from truth.

[she won’t be able to not feel guilty for that. but.]

i do not want it to be new nickname
no.
no remember?
nickname is NIKOLAI

just NIKOLAI

[reznikolai]

It wasn't anything you did that made me think that. Most reasonable people wouldn't want anything to do with a man who hides a monster under his skin.

I'm learning that I don't know very many reasonable people. But maybe that's for the best.

Ah, that's right. Just Nikolai has a good ring to it.

[lumberlady]

i am much reasonable person
much normal
i think

many humans have monster inside
not just human
jinba too, i am sure.
what is mattering
is what the monster does.
and what the man does after.

NIKOLAI
saved i
even though i was scared of.

just NIKOLAI did.

[reznikolai]

[I am the monster, and the monster is me. But he had used his claws and wings for some good. That had to count for something.]

Thank you.

[What he feels upon reading her message cannot be encompassed by those two paltry words, but they would have to do.]

I needed to hear that.

I'll stop bothering you and let you be a good mother. Tomorrow, though, you'll get no reprieve from me.

1/2

[lumberlady]

you are welcome
NIKOLAI.

[lumberlady]

[but later, tomorrow, when she has finished her self-imposed duty and allows herself to be selfish again...

another message follows, to respond to no reprieve.

00:04.]

good.