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[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

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[reznikolai]

[He wastes a long moment trying to discover what meaning stalks between the lines of that last statement — until he remembers that it's a fruitless endeavor. The Darkling adores mind games. Loves provoking.

Provoking, which is where other words of his succeed, brushing ink across his mind. Painting vivid flashes of memory from the dimness. You don't always dislike it. His mouth full, his jaw splitting, his throat bruising. Insatiability devouring so many holes inside of him.

What to do with these memories, he doesn't know. But he chooses not to be meekened.]

You're hardly celebrated for your honesty.

[Does he dare test it? Nikolai has never shied away from pulling a trigger.]

Aleksander, was it?

[underage]

For all that honesty brightens, it casts long shadows.

( or — being entirely truthful at times just tends to make certain issues worse. while not among his virtues as a man, the darkling wouldn't say he's on par for lying the way nikolai dons masks to overlay his inner self. aleksander is only ever himself — at least at this point, unburdened by the years he spent cultivating new names, new lives, the son of himself and himselves, brought to this moment.

he's only the darkling. the black heretic. aleksander morozova, yes, to find it both freeing and damning to have his true name on nikolai's mind. )

Present.
It appears you've remembered. Glad to see your mind is in working order.

[reznikolai]

[Haha, fuck.

So the Darkling knows. And he knows that Nikolai knows.

Is he humiliated? The man who made his life a living hell has seen him cracked completely open, a whimpering quivering thing in the thrall of lust. Every filthy word that had so easily dripped from his tongue in that dream, every degrading act he'd bowed to, comes back as ghosts to haunt him. He should be humiliated. The Darkling certainly wants him to be.

But hadn't desire pulled him down too? Not a monster, just a man. Aleksander. Double-edged is the weapon he wields against Nikolai.

So even though he doesn't know what to think, what to feel, he knows he cannot give the Darkling what he wants.]

How could I forget? I finally found the one thing you might be useful for.

I thought you didn't dream.

[underage]

And I thought you didn't dream of me choking you.

( two liars having a standoff, then. despite what the darkling would claim — it was a dream, in all different meanings of the word. he craves domination, and nikolai gave that to him in surplus. )

What do you think I'm useful for, then? Be blunt.

[reznikolai]

Is your sad flaccid ego in need of stroking?

[underage]

Apparently, not much of mine is flaccid around you.

[reznikolai]

[...Are they sexting now...?

The smart thing to do would be to stop answering, but that would be letting Aleksander win. The Darkling. Letting the Darkling win.

(Win what?)]

An improvement from all our prior encounters, really.

[underage]

You find this agreeable, then.
Interesting.

[reznikolai]

Improvement is a relative term. When you start at zero, the only place to go is up.

[underage]

Well, I certainly know what it is you see in Zoya, now.
Though Alina is still a mystery. How does that work?
Actually, don’t bother. She already told me.
Or showed me, rather.

Should we instead have a conversation about how we fuck all the same women?

[reznikolai]

[How many times had he heckled Mal for playing the part of jealous lover with such exasperating stupidity and predictability? And here he is, contemplating a dozen matchstick-quick comebacks that would only give the Darkling what he seeks: his composure, ruffled.

Sneaking quietly, treacherously through the back of his thoughts: Alina slipping out of the house one late summer evening not long after the Darkling's arrival in this world, evasive in her purpose, but he trusted her. He trusts her. He doesn't need to know who she's texting; they have so many of the same friends here.

The Darkling doesn't enter their conversation often, but what does that quiet mean? What do you think he's up to? she might say. And him, Crying into a bowl of soup, I hope.

This is what he does, Nikolai reminds himself with a staying breath. He manipulates and divides.]

Was this also in the dreams you claim not to have?

[underage]

No.
The aforementioned lonely visits.

( tempting, to rub their tethered bond in his nose. to speak of all the ways he knows alina, that nikolai will never compare to — and yet. doesn’t it feel sacred to him? one precious glimmer of untouched soil, his pretty little bond, to visit alina whenever he pleases. whenever she pleases too, so wayward is her heart. )

Don’t be hard on yourself.
Besides.
It’s the dreams I’m not privy to that garner my interest.

[reznikolai]

[The thought that Alina could still be lonely in spite of his efforts to make her feel loved — it barbs at him. He knows the Darkling has crafted this insidious suggestion, sharpened it to a point, with the sole intent to hurt him. He knows this.

But for just a moment, a stab of doubt lances his heart. Just as quickly, he brushes it aside. Alina knows better than to fall for the Darkling's traps again.]

Perhaps it would bother me too, if I didn't know you also lie with every breath you take.

[underage]

Ask her about it, then. Surely she'll tell the truth.

[reznikolai]

If I remember to drag you up in conversation. There are so many more interesting things we could talk about instead.