I N B O X

[reznikolai]

@volkvolny NIKOLAI LANTSOV

✉ ☏ 📷

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[reznikolai]

[Every day. They're just words on a screen, indifferent by themselves, but he can hear them murmured in her voice. He knows the sound of it so well now, the way it shapes every word. The way it shines with joy and hardens with anger and wavers with sorrow. It's stuck there now.]

We knew that when we started this.

[This. This achingly beautiful mess they've created. They knew it was temporary, but they jumped in anyway, or maybe it pulled them in.]

It's a little late to undo it all now. I won't take back any of the things I've said. Or any of the things we've done together.

I thought you didn't want me to pretend to be anybody else when I'm with you.

[solmate]

[ He's going to break up with her, isn't he?

A break by choice rather than fate. She should feel glad. It's merciful. It's painful. Incredibly painful. She already spent one life denying who she was, why did she think she could manage another? ]

wait.

whatever you're going to say... can you just wait?
not like this.
not in text.
tell me in person, okay?

[reznikolai]

[Saints, she's dense. Or she's just learned to anticipate the worst; she's learned that nothing lasts. And in a way, she's right. But not yet.]

Tell you what?

I've just told you what I need to tell you.

[But for the conspicuous absence of those words that have been ripening on his tongue for months, growing heavier.]

Though that does remind me, I should tell you that you're beautiful when I get home. I don't say it nearly often enough.

[solmate]

[ Oh. ]

oh.

[ That's what she gets for jumping to conclusions, but what else is new in terms of causing trouble in their relationship? ]

well are you coming home still
(the first message still applies)
and what did you mean about pretending?

[reznikolai]

I'll be done here soon. Then I'm coming home to you, and I'll give you as much attention as you can stand.

[The next part of the message takes a little more time and thought to compose.]

I meant that I can't pretend you're any less important to me than you are.

[solmate]

ponchik is going to cry when you lock him out of the bedroom again.

then come home and show me.

[reznikolai]

Lucky for me, Ponchik is easy to win over. A belly rub should do the trick.

I'll show you as many times, and as many ways, as you wish, Alinochka. 😘