[Suddenly, Nikolai feels foolish for thinking he could float above the peculiar influences of this world, when experience has proven him to be just as vulnerable to their persuasion as everyone else.
But from the beginning, he and Alina have established an unspoken rule of, well, leaving their relationship unspoken. As if putting it into words might undo the thing they've built. So naturally, they've never discussed contingencies and consequences.
In answer to Konoha's question, he can only nod.]
I'm sorry, Konoha. This isn't fair to you either.
[He untangles himself from the cradle of her arms and legs, shifting to the edge of the bed of blankets and hay. There, he pauses to look at her over his shoulder. Remorse tightens his expression, so different from the bliss that occupied him some turns of the clock back.]
I truly did want to help you.
[He would break his promise after all. Of taking care of her, of keeping her loneliness at bay.
Reaching for his shirt, he remembers...that's right, Konoha popped the buttons off in her haste. The reach for his trousers brings about a sharp awareness of how messy he is, slick with her juice mingled with his seed.]
no subject
But from the beginning, he and Alina have established an unspoken rule of, well, leaving their relationship unspoken. As if putting it into words might undo the thing they've built. So naturally, they've never discussed contingencies and consequences.
In answer to Konoha's question, he can only nod.]
I'm sorry, Konoha. This isn't fair to you either.
[He untangles himself from the cradle of her arms and legs, shifting to the edge of the bed of blankets and hay. There, he pauses to look at her over his shoulder. Remorse tightens his expression, so different from the bliss that occupied him some turns of the clock back.]
I truly did want to help you.
[He would break his promise after all. Of taking care of her, of keeping her loneliness at bay.
Reaching for his shirt, he remembers...that's right, Konoha popped the buttons off in her haste. The reach for his trousers brings about a sharp awareness of how messy he is, slick with her juice mingled with his seed.]
...Ah.