[Someone who will love him... While Alina looks out over the sea — and the waves glitter in the sunlight, more peaceful than his mind and heart at present — Nikolai watches her. His mind pulls back to that night a month ago when she'd washed dirt and blood from his skin and he begged her to remind him of his humanity. I see someone that I... How had she intended to finish that sentence before she thought better of it? He has circled back to that question every so often in the intervening weeks. Each time he wanders into it, he quickly backs away.]

Ravka can't afford to wait for me to fall in love, Alina.

[While his voice is gentle, his words ring with the same cold finality as steel. Nikolai stops walking then, and he tugs at her waist to stop her from taking her next step. Folding in to face her, he brushes a stray lock of hair behind her ear. His fingertips linger there on the curve of her jaw.]

I've always known that when I married, it would be for politics. It never bothered me when I was younger. I had my heart set on the throne, and I was ready to sacrifice whatever I must. Then...

[Then he met Alina. As he got to know her, he realized that he might have both: political alliance and, someday, love. Of course he grew too attached to that ideal, as he does to all of his ideals. Suddenly, it hurts to touch her.]

Then I thought about what it would mean, to have to play a role every day of my life, not just in public but in private too.

[He almost tells her that he still wishes she would have said yes, even now. But what good would that accomplish?]