[Closing his eyes, Nikolai sinks into her airy whimpers, her sweet epithets. Hanging within reach is that tantalizing future they will never share together. A bassinet beside the bed where their son sleeps while papa and mama finally take a moment for themselves. Alina's belly soon to be rounded with Dominik's brother or sister. All of them composing the family his parents has failed to provide for him.
But he doesn't let himself sink into it fully, doesn't let the the fantasy swallow him whole. He forces himself to stay in the present, to feel the press of reality at the edges of this idle dream. That had been their downfall, dwelling in make believe and barricading the door against any truth that threatened to break the spell.
It's easier now. Now that they're not together, now that there's little left to cling to, it's easier to resign himself to reality. Now that time provides more distance with every passing day, it's easier to endure the ache of her absence, the Alina-shaped hole in his life.
But as soon as their paths cross, he finds himself hurtling into her orbit once more. That he isn't strong enough to resist.
When he groans softly against her breast, it's the release of all those things he aches for and knows he can't have. Alina will feel his desire in the hot press of his cock against her thigh, his leg tangling with hers. Around her nipple he whispers—]
Only you...
[—before suckling at her in earnest. He's suspiciously adept at it, knowing how best to use the tools of tongue and touch to encourage her flow, until what began as a few beads of milk eases into a steady trickle that he drinks with an indulgent sigh.]
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But he doesn't let himself sink into it fully, doesn't let the the fantasy swallow him whole. He forces himself to stay in the present, to feel the press of reality at the edges of this idle dream. That had been their downfall, dwelling in make believe and barricading the door against any truth that threatened to break the spell.
It's easier now. Now that they're not together, now that there's little left to cling to, it's easier to resign himself to reality. Now that time provides more distance with every passing day, it's easier to endure the ache of her absence, the Alina-shaped hole in his life.
But as soon as their paths cross, he finds himself hurtling into her orbit once more. That he isn't strong enough to resist.
When he groans softly against her breast, it's the release of all those things he aches for and knows he can't have. Alina will feel his desire in the hot press of his cock against her thigh, his leg tangling with hers. Around her nipple he whispers—]
Only you...
[—before suckling at her in earnest. He's suspiciously adept at it, knowing how best to use the tools of tongue and touch to encourage her flow, until what began as a few beads of milk eases into a steady trickle that he drinks with an indulgent sigh.]