[A dozen questions bleed like fresh lacerations from the dark of his mind. When did you go to him? Was it only once? Twice? More? What does he give you that I couldn't? How does he touch you? How can you stand to touch him?
Not all of them are fair. Nikolai had found new shapes of comfort and happiness and forgiveness in the arms of other partners even when he was still with Alina; it didn't mean that she lacked, only that they had something to give too. And he had found the Darkling's touch tolerable enough, the same hands that fractured him with these scars. But here in the dead of night, his thoughts are untamed beasts.]
Tell me. What wouldn't I love? What's so horrible that it would make me turn away from you after everything?
There are parts of me I thought you couldn't ever love. But I showed them to you anyway. I let you see all of me, like you asked.
You were angry at me because I kept the truth from you. Because I chose for you. Haven't you done the same to me?
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Not all of them are fair. Nikolai had found new shapes of comfort and happiness and forgiveness in the arms of other partners even when he was still with Alina; it didn't mean that she lacked, only that they had something to give too. And he had found the Darkling's touch tolerable enough, the same hands that fractured him with these scars. But here in the dead of night, his thoughts are untamed beasts.]
Tell me. What wouldn't I love? What's so horrible that it would make me turn away from you after everything?
There are parts of me I thought you couldn't ever love. But I showed them to you anyway. I let you see all of me, like you asked.
You were angry at me because I kept the truth from you. Because I chose for you. Haven't you done the same to me?